If you’re just now joining the rollercoaster of our Family Planning, make sure to take the extra step to start on GO. The view is nice at the top (where this post starts) but you’ve missed some heart racing, spirit breaking, exhilarating wind in your hair moments. Roll the dice and catch up on Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4.
Enjoy the View
… and catch your breath
The space between Part 4 and Part 5 of our Family Planning journey is one of my favorites. It’s mountain top, peace filled and after all we went though, I just wanted to stay here for the rest of my life. I had a son and a daughter… life was good, God is faithful.
The End.
Having Grace was an adjustment but practically speaking going from one to two kids was a smooth transition. There was no physical recovery from giving birth, she was an easy baby and bonded to me right away. Ethan and Grace loved each other BIG and were bonding more beautifully than I could have dreamed. I know this is all by God’s grace and design.
I also didn’t forget my promise with Mark to go back for all our frozen IVF babies… but I was so content and grateful… I just wanted to rest here for… well, forever. I didn’t want to sprint or do another marathon. I was done with the race and for the first time in over 3 years I didn’t hear the loud, ticking of a clock.
Pre-Req’s for Round 2
Soon after Grace’s adoption was finalized in December, Mark was ready to go back for the frozen babies. I told him he was out of his mind. We still had a 6-month-old baby! I wanted to wait until she was at least a year old to even consider it.
Mark was not on board. He didn’t want to wait. His main concern (and argument) was “What if all 3 babies make it and we have triplets? I want us to be younger not older when this happens.”
I could tell he was serious, so I let him know my requirements before I was game for another long, painful round of pokes, bruising and investing my heart into who knows what?
Right here you can see a snapshot of how different my husband and I are using the simple example of the board game Monopoly. He loves the thrill and excitement of the game journey. He buys all the properties, utilities, railroads… the more the merrier. No risk, no gain.
I’m the girl playing monopoly that keeps looking at her watch wondering: When is this game ever going to be over? I’m just trying to collect my $200 and not give any of it to you! I’ll take all the railroads. I’m here for the snacks, hot chocolate and company.
Knowing my husband, and myself, I told him that WHEN we go to Europe, THEN I will be open to getting pregnant with triplets (and starting another marathon).
My main concern (and argument) was “What if I get pregnant with triplets? Who will watch 5 children (triplets included) so we can go to Europe?”
Europe wasn’t an IF, it was a REQUIREMENT. Mommy needs a break and a bonus before taking on more. Turns out baby making is hard, painful work!
We had been through a lot together but it was my body that was taking the physical tax. Staying at home with the kids meant my days were filled with the back and forth foster care trauma and adoption drama. The home is my ship and we were finally in smooth waters. Let’s just coast and enjoy the sunset.
He got it loud and clear.*
Valentines Day 2014, Mark surprised me with a trip to Europe + zero talk about babies. That was a gift!
In June, Grace turned 1 and we celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. That September we took 2 weeks and explored Italy, Switzerland & France together with NO talk of babies.
To watch a 5 minute recap of this special day, click on the video below.
Round 2
Come October, Mark circled back to the frozen baby topic. We renewed our vows, had our 2nd honeymoon… now let’s talk triple babies in the baby carriage (that would be me).
The timing was much better now that Grace was over 1 and Ethan was 4. I didn’t hear a ticking clock but as before I didn’t want the siblings spaced far apart either…
Also! This probably won’t work out. They put the most viable babies in on Round 1 and it failed. How successful could it be?
I honestly went into it thinking I was simply fulfilling my promise. I had no expectations beyond the weeks of poking and bruising ahead. Because of this, I begged the doctor to please put all 3 babies in! I did not want to go through Round 3 for 1 more knowing they only put in 2 at a time. She agreed! THANK YOU JESUS!
My prayer going into Round 2 was, “Lord, either make me super pregnant or not at all!” Hot or cold, You pick!… but no more in-between or “almost”.
Once they were implanted, Mark and I got away for the weekend with his brother and our sis-in-law to Napa. Post-implantation waiting still requires daily injections… however… we forgot them. Whoops.
Me: Oh well! Let’s go tasting!
Mark: Call the doctor and ask if it’s ok to skip
Me: *staring at him*
Mark: *waits*
I called the doctor and he recommended that for the best chances of the babies, we should continue medications.
Dang.
Full transparency: I didn’t think it was going to work but I also couldn’t deny giving these babies the best chance at coming into the world so…
Fine.
Me: We need the meds. I’ll get them, you guys go ahead and have fun…
Also Me: Not fine.
I drove the entire way home listening to this song because it was such a happy song. I needed joy! I took it as a challenge to learn the lyrics. Plus, it was November and close enough to Christmas. Time to make spirits bright… starting with my sour self. Now every time I listen to Marshmallow World, I think about this round-trip road trip and I’m instantly taken back to behind the wheel, blasting the music and singing way too loud. Instant spirit lift… I highly recommend it!
God in the Details
The wait was over. Time to for my first pregnancy test: the blood draw. Oh goody. Again, I saw all this as another check off my to-do list titled “See, I Keep My Promises”.
Do you remember the news bearer, in Part 3, calling with my test results after Round 1? She cautiously told me, “Congratulations… you’re pregnant” but also, “don’t get your hopes up, this could be a chemical pregnancy”. The reason for her caution was my hcg numbers were in the minimal hundreds. The numbers continued to double and while I technically met all the requirements, they doubled until there was no heartbeat.
I was expecting the same this time around as I didn’t feel any different and… why would these work out and not the other two?
When I got the call, I was told my numbers were in the thousands! The messenger said, “You are definitely pregnant with at least one, but most likely two or more!”
Super pregnant.
It’s what I prayed for, right? God is in the details no doubt!
Absolute SHOCK layered with an explosion of joy (+ touch of confusion)! I could not believe the news. Here we go again… another climb up the rollercoaster hill… belly sure to lead the way.
>>> So happy we took that trip to Europe! <<<
Congratulations! But…
Now filled with excitement and multiplying expectation, Mark and I went in for the first heartbeat(s) check. In the room was the doctor, Mark, me + 3 other staff members who had seen my results and knew 3 babies were implanted… they just couldn’t help but to see how many were in there.
Two heart beats! Twins!! But…
But one twin was smaller than other and the doctor was concerned about the possibility of vanishing twin syndrome.
One simple, 3-lettered word robbed me of my peace. When delivering the news to all our family members, I did so cautiously (without joy) telling them what the doctor had said. This ultra sound was at 6 weeks gestation. We waited until our official 8 week appointment with my OB to see if both babies were still growing strong. That was 2 weeks of uncertainty and pending joy.
Congratulations, You’re Having Twins!
At our 8 week ultra sound/heartbeat check, our OB said he was confident that both babies were healthy and thriving. The chances of miscarriage was very slim and given our history, I was able to carry babies just fine. THANK YOU JESUS!!!
Spotting
At 16 weeks, I noticed some spotting. This scared me as the last time I had spotting, I miscarried. We found out that Baby A had placenta previa and was probably due to that. I was monitored closely for bleeding, which never amounted to much, and over time the placenta cleared the birth canal so I was given the green light to try and have these babies without a C-section. This was a HUGE blessing as my number one prayer request after healthy babies was that the placenta would move!
Girls? Boys? Both?
Also at 16 weeks we did a fun gender reveal for the kids. Ethan so badly wanted both a sister AND a brother. He was so excited to see the pink balloons for Baby A but was confused and disappointed when Baby B also had pink balloons.
We explained that God isn’t a genie in a bottle, His ways are better than ours even when we don’t understand. God has a purpose and a plan for each of these girls.
He really wanted a brother. More on that later…
Grow Babies Grow!
And now for a weekly bump-to-bump succession (grab some popcorn for your very own food baby):
At 20 weeks my doctors said I was safe to travel so we took a family vacation and made it our Babymoon at the beach.
I took my pregnancy pictures at 28 weeks while I was looking like a nice, full moon but not yet “Mother Earth”!
Names
Ethan (firm & steadfast in truth) Mark (warrior) and Grace (divine gift) Elizabeth (God’s promise) were chosen with much purpose and intention. I wanted the girl’s names to have meaning but also go together. We knew that if we had a girl, we would name her Karis Faith. Karis is “grace” in Greek and I love that it tied in with her big sister. Faith is “confident hope”. Now that we were having two girlies, I figured we’d have to come up with a whole new first and middle name, but Mark really loved Faith as a first name. So, it was Karis & Faith.
At first I thought we would make both their middle names matching. But then, I loved the individual statements and flow of Karis Bliss (grace + great joy/fruit of the Spirit) and Faith Everly (Faith everlasting). To this day I am still incredibly happy with this decision as I use the kids’ name meanings as I pray over them.
I wanted to note that it was super important to me that Grace was the only girl to have a family name (Elizabeth) since she is the only one who is adopted. It sat well with my heart tipping the scales that way and also having Karis’ name by definition mean Grace’s name… it all flows together into a sisterhood that is set up for unity and very much covered in prayer.
Loving them all the same is not loving them well at all. Loving them according to their specific needs, love languages, giftings, short comings and journeys… that is what I’m seeking to fill. I seek to love each of my children well, but uniquely as they are each unique. God doesn’t use a cookie cutter with us… neither will I with my children.
Just like Karis and Faith didn’t need matching middle names because they already share so much, Grace didn’t need help being an individual or set apart. The twins needed their own identities and Grace needed extra covering over her belonging and adoptive birth right. So, all 3 girls have different middle names and they all work together but stand alone holding their own uniqueness.
Count Down…
I read all the books and said all the prayers… the last trimester was filled with weekly ultrasounds, appointments, anticipation and savoring the last weeks as a family of 4. I really did love this dynamic and wanted to soak it all in. So, we made one last escape to Disneyland (our magical, happy place) but flew this time as I couldn’t bare a 7 hour car ride while front loading extra cargo. Mark and I surprised the kids and they were ecstatic!
My baby shower was at 30 weeks. Being showered with the blessing of two daughters along with all the love and support from friends and family was a literal dream come true. I worked with my mom to make another custom dream nursery. Once again, she made the bedding and draperies. My sweet friend, Mindy, made the beautiful pennant banners and fabric scrap garlands.
To be honest, it got really hard the second half of my pregnancy. I purchased a belly brace and started wearing it toward the end of the day. All my babies carried like basketballs… with twins that’s a double dribble = more of a beach ball. My due date was the end of July so it was beach day everyday with super swollen feet + puffy ankles. Workin’ on that beach bod for 3 = Snowman Status. In case you’re curious, I did float!
For a singleton pregnancy, 40 weeks is full-term. For a twin pregnancy, 38 weeks is considered full-term. I cannot, nor will I try to, explain how my tiny, 5’2″ body carried 2 babies (in the dead heat of summer) to 38 weeks… but God made it happen. For as much body shaming and dreaming of the “perfect body” as women do, I have not a single complaint about my body because it did the dang thang! My water broke early morning on the 38th week! God be praised!!
In the next What Family Planning? I’ll share about labor & delivery, transitioning into a family of 6 (and therefore doubling our children) and what in the world made us have another?
But first, check out this “upgraded” ride (from my beloved mini SUV) that Mark was 100% positive we needed now…
